


Runaway

by ferosecity



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: BL, Bokuaka - Freeform, Bokuto - Freeform, Boys In Love, Depression, Haikyu - Freeform, Haikyuu - Freeform, M/M, POV Akaashi Keiji, Psychology, Sad and Happy, Top Bokuto Koutarou, akaashi - Freeform, moveon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29783199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferosecity/pseuds/ferosecity
Summary: Was I not enough for you to stay?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Kudos: 3





	Runaway

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so if you see any error, please, forgive me. Also, this my first BL fanfic story, it’s so challenging! Hope you like it. Thank you for reading!

_RUNAWAY_

“You did it?!” I screamed as Bokuto lifted his fist, punching the air with so much pride. His presence, his smile, always seemed to scintillate. His eyes found mine. He mouthed, “I did it.” and I felt kind of sad for not giving anything more than a nod. He’s too far, and his team mates were gathered around him anyway.

“Akaashi!” he run towards me, gave me the tightest hug. I pat the back of his head as his hands roamed around my nape, and lower back. We’re back on my apartment. His face—drunk face, as we look at one another, my breathing, my heart, went eccentric. “You look fine, tonight, Akaashi.” He gushed. YOU look so fine, not me.

I chuckled and shook my head. He gently put the back of my hand to his lips, kissing it. My cheeks are probably red. Since he discovered that I felt insecure about my hands, he never missed a day without kissing my hands, giving it more love than I ever I did. He traced the ring with his thumb, “I did my best today, my world.” He whispered. I bit my lower lip and I nodded. “Yes, you did. You looked so cool.”

“Because you were there that I was able to be at my best.” His cheeky smile is so cute, so I pinched his cheeks. “I’m proud of you,” but there was a glint of sadness on his eyes after I said that. “What?”

“Nothing!” he brought his cheeky smile back and grabbed me, leading me to our bed room. His hair’s down. He removed his shirt is one swift move. “A-Are we doing…” I mean he’s drunk, and probably tired after today’s game. “Why? Are you tired?” His eyes widened, probably over thinking, “N-No…” my cheeks heated as he put my hands on his bulgy chest.

“I mean, after you did your work, you went to see my game… also, you waited for so long since I went to our after party… and I’m drunk… I am asking too much from you—“

“N-Not at all!” I said. Bokuto tend to think this way especially now that we’re busy. Before, I was the one who think this way, you know, being a bother to some one, but lately, Bokuto turned into that. He’s asking if he’s asking too much lately… but he would never be a bother to me. He’s my ball of sunshine.

I cupped his face and kiss him on the lips, he tasted alcohol, and Bokuto… he gently pushed me on the bed and removed my glasses. “Can you see me?” I chuckled, “Of course.” Ah, Bokuto and his questions. He smiled and slowly made his way inside my clothes, and we spend the night with passion unlike any other night…

Tonight felt calm, burning, too much.

—

I looked at the clock and it’s already 10am, Bokuto is still sleeping. He’s probably so tired after all… though it feels like I should be the one who’s tired… my cheeks heated and I cleared my throat. “Bokuto… wake up.” I shook him gently.

He’s on his stomach, still naked. Blanket is covering his body from waist to his legs. He groaned, “Akaashi…” he whispered, “I’m sorry…” sorry? He’s dreaming? I poked his cheek. “Hey, sunshine. It’s time to wake up.” his eyes opened but he looks so tired, “Are you okay?”

He smiled, “Yeah—“ he grabbed me, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “It’s your day off, right?”

“Yeah. You have plans for me?” he bit his lower lip, and his eyes sparkled. “No!” I laughed, last night was too much. My body feels sore, I can’t do it today. He pouted, “Bokuto, we can do things besides that you know…” I rolled my eyes.

And so we went grocery, “Uh, Kotaro, you bought too much?” 

“No, I didn’t Keiji.” He smirked, “And you have to eat everyday, don’t forget about that.”

“What? You always want to share foods with me so we—I end up eating half of my food.” He poked his tongue out, “Not anymore!”

“As if!”

Bokuto carried our bags inside the apartment. I sighed. “Seriously, this man.” He really bought a lot! “Oh, world, want me to buy you… you know, stuff toys?”

“What’s wrong with you?” I poked his cheek and shook my head, “If you feel lonely…”

“Why would I?” I raised my eyebrow, he just shrugged his shoulders, “I mean, if I come home late, you won’t feel lonely… and you know, do some stuff with it while thinking about me—ouch!” I flicked his forehead.

This man and his naughty thoughts. 

But…

It wasn’t just naughty thoughts… 

My eyes felt like exploding, even my head. My body felt like giving up. It’s been two weeks… two weeks without him.

Two weeks and I feel like dying too.

The sun was suddenly covered with a familiar tangerine head. “Akaashi.” Hinata waking me up with a contorted face, “Hinata.” I said groggily, my voice was hoarse. He tsk-ed and gave me a glass of water.

My voice sounds so rough, but I drank the glass of water Hinata gave. I’m probably dehydrated. I’m not eating properly after all. “What’s happening to you?” Hinata asked and sat on the floor. “I know… I know that it’s too sudden, but please Akaashi… don’t do this.”

I refrain myself from staring at his eyes. I… I can see Bokuto in him. They’re too much a like and it… hurts me. “You don’t know what it feels like—“

“Of course I know!” his voice’s loud. His face seemed to clear, lately, faces of people in our lives become blurry to me. I can’t make myself see anyone’s faces besides Bokuto. I don’t want to forget his face… I’m so angry.

How could he do this to me?

“I know how you feel. He’s important to me too! And now that he’s not here, and just left like that… I felt betrayed too… but… Akaashi… I failed Bokuto, you know?” His voice’s faint, and sad. “I… didn’t know that he’s in pain too.” A tear fell on his eyes but he quickly wipes it with his arm.

“So please, Akaashi, live. Don’t leave us too. Bokuto won’t like that…”

But… how?

Hinata left after a while. He cleaned the apartment, and left some food. 

I sat on the chair and stare at the food in front of me. I put my glasses. Funny… it’s blurry, but it wasn’t because it’s dirty, but because my eyes are swelling. I get an extra plate and put it on the other side of the table.

I put some food on my plate, and then took the half and put it on the extra plate. I sobbed.

I remove my glasses and after two weeks of not trying to get it all out. Once again, I crumbled, and sobbed hard as I could. Hoping to feel numb.

“Read it Akaashi.” Hinata said before he left. I looked at the letter Bokuto left on our bed that day. How could he expect me to read this? How?

“You’re so unfair…” I said and slowly get the letter sitting on the top of my bedside table. But then I lose the strength to read it and put it back.

—

I sat beside him and just looking at his grave. “Bokuto… you did it.” I whispered. “Why? I thought we’re fine? I thought… I understand you most but… I…” I sobbed again. I’m surprised that I can still shed tears after all the crying from last two weeks.

Bokuto? Is this what you want?

Are you happy that I’m miserable? Was I not enough for you to stay?

Bokuto…

“Bokuto… you bought me a lot of food, gave me the stuff toy, gave me a burning, passionate night… because all along, you were planning to do this? If… If I paid attention…” my voice cracked. “Why would you give me these things and show me you cared but at the end, you will leave me?”

“You… can rely on me? You can tell me anything, yet… this one. Was it hard, Bokuto? I’m sorry… I’m mad at myself that I didn’t see the signs. Bokuto… Kotaro… Sunshine… you were never a burden. Never a bother to me… how can I move on? Please…”

—

I stepped on the pedal a little more. Road’s empty, and it’s raining. My eyes landed on the ring he gave to me the day we decided to move in together. It was just a plain, silver, ring… but it holds our love, secrets, and promises.

Until I move my eyes back to the road and saw a rabbit in the middle of the road. I stepped on the brake so hard to avoid it. The wheels screeched, and fortunately avoided it. The rain kept pouring while I sat inside the car.

I looked at the letter once again sitting beside me… where Bokuto sat, because he never drive. He always want me to drive for him. I slowly get it and hesitated before I finally had the courage to read it.

_Dear World,_

_I know you’re angry. That I did it… but I know that you’ll shoulder all of it, and blame yourself even more. Please… don’t. Akaashi, believe it or not, you are the most important person to me, and the best thing that ever happened to me._

_I thought I could do it… I thought I could live… but I was so ashamed to say things to you because I don’t want to you to feel burdened by me. Trust me… you are enough, but my damaged brain couldn’t handle that… funny right?_

_I tried to live for you. I really did try, Akaashi… but… I was too weak, and sad that it is I that is not enough for you. I thought that I could hide it until we get old… but I couldn’t, that I was so tired of hiding it, and wanted to end it._

_You, Akaashi Keiji, will always and forever be my world, but in this lifetime, your world, is not me… because the right one would never, ever, try to destroy the other. I’m sorry for making you revolve around me and just decided to disappear._

_I am just tired._

_I just don’t belong here anymore, and I’m running away._

_So… world, I’m not asking for a favor, but please, take care… eat and this time, all of it, don’t share with anyone unless he’s the right one, but even if he is, you have to eat your full meal this time! Sleep on time, you owl! : >_

_Lastly… have the will to live. I know… the audacity, but I want to see you live, and be happy again, even if it’s not me. Even though the warmth will never be mine, and be someone else’s, I’d rather see that, than see you curling up alone._

_I will always look, and wait for you World._

_Akaashi, I love you… so much._

_And thank you for everything._

_With love,_

_Your Bokuto._

“Fool…” I whispered, and once again, filled my car with broken sob, and heart.

“Fine. I will live. I’ll try to be happy… but Bokuto, you’re so wrong on this part… I wouldn’t be able to replace your warmth, and you were never a bother. You’re not asking too much.”

I trace my ring, “I love you too… and rest well.”


End file.
